Any time you hop over the ocean, much of the first 24 hours of the trip entails airports and airplanes and our trip was no different. Delta hooked us up with a row to ourselves at the back of the plane, so we threw on our trusted travel pillows and snored our way across the world. Land of sausage – here we come!
Two hours of sleep and a few movies later, we arrive in Munich, grab our bags, and grab a cab to the hotel. Sounds simple, safe, and easy right? Welcome to Munich – please fasten your seat belts and keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Michael and I walk to the first cab we see, put our bags in the trunk, and hand the cab driver, Viktor, the name and address of our hotel. He nods and slowly drives away from the taxi area, saying very little and mumbling to himself slightly. Next thing I know, Viktor the Volkswagon tamer, slams the peddle to the metal, grabs a pen, paper, and his phone, and begins to spit and spurt every travel destination within a 30 mile radius. Viktor shows us pictures of waterfalls, he Googles tours, he draws us a very nice map of the city, he even writes out the name of good restaurants and “discos” – the only problem….he is doing all of these things while driving 90 mph and weaving in and out of traffic. During the 30 minute cab ride, I think I crapped my pants at least four times as he came within a hair of hitting other cars or driving off the road entirely. Once the car came to a stop, we jumped out, kissed the ground, and bid Viktor a fond farewell.
We check into the hotel – King’s Hotel First Class, leave our bags downstairs, and head out into the city in search of adventure. Almost every large European city we have been to has a hop on hop off bus service, and we have found that is it the best way to get to know the lay of the land. We get the two day pass since it is only 2 euro more and hop on the bus for an introduction to Munich. The tour is nice, relaxing, and gives us a good idea of where everything is in relation to our hotel.
Feeling a bit jet lagged and tired after a two hour tour, we decide to grab some lunch. We walk back towards our hotel and see a cool looking building off in the distance. We walk over and discover our first Bier Garden of the trip – Lowenbrau. We hop in, have a couple of beers and pretzels, and order a sampling of sausages and a bowl of soup. The soup had an oxtail broth with “pancake noodles” sprinkled in – literally toasted pancake strips – sounds weird but way awesome. The mustard for the pretzels was amazing as it was a little sweet, but also had a nice twinge of horseradish – yum.
Proud of our good biergarden find – we walk down the street to our hotel. Our room is ready, so we grab our bags and walk over to the elevator. What’s that horrible smell? Wait – why does that man in front of the elevator have his hand over his butt and his legs squeezed together? What is that rancid smell….what is that? OMG – that German man sh!t his pants – he literally has sh!t his pants and is trying to get up to his room. I look at Michael, who is clueless and starts sniffing the air. Do you smell something, Bambi? I walk over to a side room and give Michael the “nod” to come with me. Our eyes meet and we both know – the man squirming in front of the elevator has clearly crapped his pants and we don’t want to be trapped on the elevator with him. As the elevator opens, we let poor Mr. Poopy Pants go up by himself. Now we have a big problem – there are only two elevators and we really, really don’t want to have to get in the one that man just got in. I mean really, if someone farts in an elevator, it stays in there for at least five minutes….how long can it take to get the smell out when someone has sh!t their pants??? Michael cheers as the “safe” elevator door opens but -wait – the maid is in there with her cart and we won’t fit. She doesn’t speak English and Michael is pleading with her to let him in like a man desparate to avoid the death penalty. She spits a bunch of angry German back at him and “ding” the sh!t elevator opens. I look in and, it looks clean….we have no choice…..we hop on and get smacked in the face with the Bog of Eternal Stench. I’m not sure what that man ate, but I can tell you that it singed my nose hair. These things only happen to me!
After a laugh and a shower, we head back out into the city for some more sightseeing. It is after 5, so all the museums and such are closed. We walk along cobbled streets, snap a ton of pictures, and enjoy the rest of the evening with a bit more beer and food. Our night ends with a Pear Bulmers and a soft pillow in our “Kingly” bed.